Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
