i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
