So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
