Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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