i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pappa wants mamma naked
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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