I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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