Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
