Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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