i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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