I got chris browned last night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
