Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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