he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
