Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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