living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
