ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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