He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
