Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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