I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
