Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
