the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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