Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
