is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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