worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just googled if crying burns calories
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
