i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
