I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
