I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
