Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
