I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
