So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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