Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
