break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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