He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
