You really coming over, don't trick.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
