Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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