the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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