Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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