I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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