this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
