I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
its not stalking. its research.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
