There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
