Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she smelled like a LAN party
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
