Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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