do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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