"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
