she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
