If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
