i already hear my dad disowning me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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