let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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