your parents love me but you hate me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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