But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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