worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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