I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
