You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
