ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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